The Girl With The Far Away Eyes

concussion

i don’t even remember jumping. nor the fall. just the faint whisper of him yelling “Someone help, jump in the water” nothing more beautiful then the patience of drowning. head pounding. vision blurred. lungs collapsing. black. 

now I’m left here with a concussion and this sore body.

im thankful for the ones who saved me. 

to them, I’m a legend. 

I’m done writing. it takes too much emotion out of me. too much. 

Almost a year..

In a month, exactly a year is up. June 1^st. 2:04 pm. You’re playing with my hair as my head is close to your heart. I remember studying. And I kept getting distracted by your uneven breathing. 5 words now lingering in the air. I can still hear every pitch perfectly playing in my head.  Of course my response was yes. Since then, everything’s changed. From kisses on the forehead, to teases of smelling the others fragrance in mid passing.  We sense each other’s presence. But we’ve already lost the privilege of being acquaintances. Heart breaking, to cross paths once again with those who have molded our being and not ever be able to look into the eyes of our true self beholder. To our old self. Look into the eyes of our almost future. Time has changed us both.  Our molds, now thick like concrete, block and repel the world’s love. Why must we be so stubborn to the ones around us? Why did this world make us so hard? Love is such a deception. No one warned me the myth of my brokenness causing things like this to shatter.  Why I didn’t repair myself before making a commitment I wasn’t yet ready for, will always keep me pondering.  And friendship was punished. Sometimes I wonder if I should of fought harder. If things would have been different if I showed how much I was willing to grow. But time has passed and flowers now rise through the cracks of our concrete mold. The flowers, masking the truth underneath the roots, underneath the concrete, hiding our frozen hearts.